Hypernarcissistic videogame developer Charles Forman, whose relationship with professional drama factory Julia Allison ended in PowerPoint-driven recriminations, is back in the market for love, a tipster reports — and suffering from the woes of unfamousness.
A refresher course on Forman: He runs Iminlikewithyou, a website which offers cheap knockoffs of popular games like Tetris. As such, he's a minor figure in Silicon Alley, New York's pathetic imitation of Silicon Valley's startup scene. Digg founder Kevin Rose invested in his company. He went out with Allison, the Time Out New York dating columnist, for a few months last year, before publicly breaking up with her at a tech event where he denounced women who wooed company founders. (Awkward, since Allison briefly courted Rose a year ago and remained obsessed with him long afterwards.) Forman hangs out with Tumblr founder David Karp and pretends to be his gay lover.
But his latest would-be conquest, to his frustration, knew nothing of this, because she doesn't read Gawker, and thereby had to be convinced she was on a date with an actual microcelebrity. Ah, the perils of being a fameball that never quite got rolling. Here's our eyewitness's tale:
I was in Williamsburg at Blackbird Parlour on Bedford sitting next to this couple having the most terrifyingly drab conversation I've ever had to endure.I was half paying attention until I heard the dude say "Gawker," then my ears perked up. I starred at my book, feigned reading and tuned in to the conversation. Turns out it was Charles Forman. He was on a date with some perky girl he had met on a e-dating site. Like any good citizen reporter trying to expose sheer douchebaggery, I started jotting notes down on my napkin. Here are some highlights. They're almost nonsensical and very scattered. But they're all backed up by my napkin notes!
CF: Yeah, you might find me on Gawker. Don't believe any of it. It's all lies ... Everybody who knows me knows what I'm doing is just to be funny ...
Girl: I'm sorry I don't know Gawker or about you. I'm sure you're accomplished, though. I always like knowing a lot about a lot of things. I'd like to learn about all this. You're cool, though! Really!
CF: Don't worry. You don't need to know it. It's completely irrelevant.
(on a bit about browsing some e-site for potential dates)
CF: To be honest, I don't care if a girl seems interesting. She just has to be hot.
CF: I'm sort of a little bit snobby.
Girl: How so?
CF: I just don't have time to meet people.I work a lot. But look (taking out his BB), this is twitter. I don't know all these people, but they want to follow me. This is my site. We got 600,000 plays today.
Girl: Oh, wow.
CF: Yeah, It's OK.
Girl: What would be like really good?
CF: My goal is one million a day
Girl: Are you going to make a video about me?
CF: No. (Changing the subject) I always see people I know here. It's weird I haven't seen anyone tonight.
Girl: So, can you come next Sunday?
CF: Let me check my schedule. Wait, I don't have my schedule on me. Actually, I don't really have a schedule. I just don't like committing to things too far in advance.
Girl: Well, if you don't come another one of my boyfriends will.
CF: I almost had a threesome in a restaurant bathroom once. It was filthy dirty, though, so we decided not to.
Girl: Oh my god. Wow. I don't know what to say.
Don't be too hard on Forman: This is an improvement from his earlier attempt at finding dates, detailed in a now-deleted post on his Tumblr from last week: