Good morning sunshine! It's January, which means the horrible media advertising apocalypse has now begun. But not to worry, media lovers; it's only affecting every famous book, magazine, and newspaper publisher:

Magazines—they're not doing well! January is always slow, ad-wise. The average magazine has taken a 15% hit in ad pages this month. But for Conde Nast, things are much worse:

Wired, which is usually thick with consumer electronics ads, was the worst hit, down 47 percent from a year ago to 43.6 ad pages. Architectural Digest fell 46 percent, to 63.2, from 116.8. Vogue and Lucky were both down about 44 percent...

Cookie plummeted 45 percent to 93.2 pages, Portfolio fell 35 percent to 72 pages, Domino was down 26 percent to 60.9 pages, and Teen Vogue declined 29 percent to 105.4 pages.

Thought maybe the staid book industry jobs would hold fast in troubled times? If so, enjoy your EZ-Cheez and crackers holiday party while you meet with your boss via webcam instead of at a luxurious resort to discuss which authors are important enough to spend money buying lunch for. Because that is the NEW reality, literary people. Just as bad as Cookie magazine. Unless you're a treasured wordsmith like Sarah Silverman, or you write about your pets, in which case you will reap millions.

This is the daily thing for those with master's degrees in English to cry about.

And newspapers? They're all doing terribly, of course, but this is worth noting: on the day before Christmas, the New York Times released its November revenues: "total Company revenues from continuing operations decreased 13.9% compared with the same month a year ago. Advertising revenues decreased 20.9%." Bad.