Nitro's 'Bitch Tits' Memoir To Resurrect American Literature

With the book publishing industry cutting back, it's good to know that they can still step up and produce a quality American Gladiator tell-all memoir about man boobs and severe steroid-induced ball shrinkage:

"Bitch t- -s, man boobs, breast-chesticles is what they're called on the street. Gynecomastia is the scientific name. No matter what you call it, I [had] it," Clark, who was "Nitro" on the smash reality series, reveals in his memoir, "Gladiator: A True Story of 'Roids, Rage and Redemption," out next month. "I hate[d] taking off my shirt. For photo shoots, [I'd] wet my nipple with spit . . . [to] look firm instead of hanging down."

This is the first book that I want to read in the new year, so if you have a copy, please email me. It has the Hollywood angle, the Man vs. Self theme, and the power of redemption. Plus, the part where Nitro explains to a woman, "My b- - -s never really regained their size. They're kind of shriveled." The written word survives! [P6; pic via]