Boy, 6, and Girl, 5, Attempt African Elopement

You know what's always cute? Kids doing crazy adult stuff. Like these German tykes who wanted to get married in Africa. We smell a movie deal.

This past New Year's Eve, 6-year-old Mika decided that he wanted to tie the knot with his ladyfriend, 5-year-old Anna-Bell, so much that he'd run away to Africa with her if he had to. Well, OK, it wasn't quite so dramatic. Mostly they're funny little kids who thought it would be nice to marry someplace warm, so they figured Africa was a good bet. They packed swimsuits and water-wings and brought Mika's 7-year-old sister Anna-Lea along as a witness.

Mika, a romantic if ever there was one, told the press:

We wanted to take the train to the airport, then we wanted to get on a plane and when we arrived we wanted to unpack the summer things and then we wanted to go for a bit of a stroll in the sun.

Which, aw. Unfortunately the kids were nabbed while on an express train headed out of Hanover, bound for the airport. An official got suspicious once he noticed, you know, three "little ones ... completely on their own ... [with] lots of swimming gear with them." Their parents, who were apparently asleep when the children stole into the early morning, came to retrieve them at the police station, which the kids got a tour of by way of a consolation prize/engagement present.

But don't worry, they'll get their opportunity someday... soon, maybe. Said a police spokesman: "They'll have the chance to put their plan into action at a later date." Cute! And, when considering the idea of small children roaming the streets of Germany unattended, sort of ominous!

And let's think of this in media terms! Why are kids the only people doing interesting adult things? Remember that fanciful little mini-Bruni? And how kids like him are the only people getting book and movie deals in this shitriffic economy? Well then how long will it be before these wee ones, as precocious—albeit more adorable and foreign—as the little Upper West Side foodie, sell their life rights to some producer? I mean whatever movie they make about the story (a tale of impossible love as allegory for gay marriage?) will probably be dark and soulful (like Let the Right One In) rather than cloyingly twee, because it's European, but still. Damn kids.

Photo, L-R: the blushing would-be bride Anna-Bell (look at that hair! that adorable hair!), the doting older sister Anna-Lea, and the dashing bridegroom Mika.