· Two guys disguised themselves as Hasids and stole $4 million in diamonds from a 47th St. wholesaler. Also stolen: Snatch's plot. It's all really a testament to how natural-looking synthetic payos have become.

· So apparently the "dry, messy, bun look" Drew Barrymore is rocking is the hot new hairstyle, replacing last season's "puffy cloud look." If you can't perfect it, don't kill yourself, however. Before you know it the "rabbit head look" will have taken its place.
· Did you miss Ian McKellen's King Lear at UCLA Live? It's coming to PBS, but minus the frontal nudity. Damn it! Next year we're going for the subscription.
· If Michael Jackson's gotta go, he's gonna go out in Bel Air style.
· Regret having made out multiple times with a former boy band member? Cleanse yourself in the healing waters of Disgusting People I Have Made Out With.
· Do Something.org is auctioning off David Archuleta! (Well, the chance to "hang out" with him and four tickets to a "secret concert.") We know we don't have the kind of money to win this thing, so we just hope whichever bored, cougar heiress does returns him approximately the way she found him.