'Biggest Loser' Contestant's Flour-Flinging Rampage Inspires Defamer Joke-Off

Hard to believe The Biggest Loser is already upon us—it feels like the finale was just a couple weeks ago. (It was? Oh.) Prepare for some firsts, including the heaviest, oldest, and now abusiest contestants!

From The Detroit Free Press:

Shanon Thomas, a 30-year-old Center Line resident who appears in the new season of NBC's "The Biggest Loser," was charged with domestic violence Tuesday after she allegedly threw a bag of flour at a tenant's face when he refused to turn down his TV's volume.

Michael Nolden, 32, rents an apartment in the basement of Thomas' Helen Street home. He told police that Thomas kicked open the door to his apartment on Dec. 16 and was yelling about the TV's volume. [...]

NBC officials declined to comment on whether the incident would have any bearing on her status on the show.

We think this calls for a Defamer Joke-Off™!

5. Nolden wasn't going to press charges until she began to crack eggs over his head, and threatened to turn the uncooperative neighbor into "a delicious reason to cheat on my diet!"

4. While Thomas's lawyer calls the charges "ridiculously overblown," the arresting officer was quick to point out the bag was the 50-pound size used in industrial baking, making it a potentially lethal weapon.

3. In a similar story, a Hell's Kitchen contestant from Roanoke, VA. was charged with A Salt with a Deadly Pepa.

2. As they carried her off in handcuffs, a despondent Thomas was heard to say, "But it was whole-grain! I swear!"

1. Thomas has been relocated to a house for battered tenants.