British Montauk Monster Washes Ashore

The residents of North Devon, England don't know what to make of the fanged creature found on a local beach. Seal? Sea lion? BEAST OF EXMOOR, PERHAPS?

The Beast of Exmoor is a black big cat, a puma or panther maybe, believed by some to have eaten sheep and farm animals in the 1970s and into 1983, when 100 sheep were "mauled or killed," accoding to the Daily Mail.

The government apparently tried to cover all this up, or something, because the same very exact specific day this creature washed up, the "Forestry Commission officially confirmed big cats DO live in Britain," reported the Sun (with that very emphasis).

Here's a police commissioner, called to investigate after a surfer stumbled upon the remains at sunset Tuesday, describing the creature in the Mail:

'It's a good 5ft and it has black fur. It certainly looks quite beast-like with those teeth.'

And his sergeant:

'It almost definitely looks like it could be a Beast of Exmoor,' said Sergeant Pearce, with admirable caution. 'It's only about five miles away to Exmoor by sea, it could easily have floated down.'

The British tabs are now warring over what this thing is. The Mail reported samples from the carcass were analyzed and found to be a grey seal, its flippers decomposed.

The Sun is having none of that:

Some locals suggested it could be a seal, but The Marine Conservation Society and the National Seal Sanctuary both stated it was not.

And now the thing's skull has been stolen. Just as the Montauk Monster's whole carcass was disappeared after captivating New York for much of the summer. Many newspapers will be sold. And eventually maybe we'll find out about the movie or reality TV show or whatever behind all this, and that the awfully chatty police commissioner and sergeant were actors.