SCANDAL: George Washington doppelganger Graydon Carter is reportedly wooing his West Village neighborhood critics by giving them reservations at his Waverly Inn and putting their pictures in his Vanity Fair. Yes, and?

If there's anything that's incredibly hard to get worked up about, it's intra-neighborhood squabbles amongst the wealthy residents of New York's most attractive downtown neighborhoods. But we are nothing if not reporters. SO, according to P6 a West Village community leader who lives next door to Waverly always complained about the noise and ruckus and whatnot there, until Graydon hooked her up with her own table and put her and her dentist husband's picture up in Vanity Fair, incongruously placed amongst a group of actual celebrities. Now the other neighbors are like "You totally sold out the hood, Marilyn Dorato!" And she's like "No these things are totally unrelated I sell out for no one!" And Graydon Carter, as is his wont, is just smiling and thinking "Yes, squabble amongst yourselves, you fools. Soon I will own all of your souls. Do my bidding or your children will never see the inside of my school, or meet John Leguizamo." And all this is going on and taking people's time that could be spent pondering how awesome the Florida Gators are.