UK's Great New Squirrel Chips

Are you one of those people who eats squirrel not because of poverty or comical sitcom hillbillyism, but for the delicious taste? England has a product for you!

As we all know, the English have been eating a lot of squirrel lately, because they're in the "mass lead poisoning" portion of the decline of an empire. But sometimes, you want that delicious squirrel flavor at home, but you don't feel like going out and killing a squirrel!

That's why Walker's Crisps ("crisps" is British for "potato chips") has introduced a hot new flavor: "Cajun Squirrel"!

A panel of judges—including a "celebrity chef"!!—chose the new squirrel flavor based on submissions from thousands of chip-eaters across that blighted island. British people presumably have no idea what "Cajun" implies so these probably taste like salt and whatever squirrel tastes like, in flavor power form.

Some hoity-toity toffs at The Guardian are upset about this.

In related news there's no future in England's dreaming.