Oh The Places You'll Go

Defamer's Week in Review: Dakota made new friends, Barbara made new enemies, we made 10 critics stars, and someone simply... made. Remember the magic after the jump!

· The Jett Travolta tragedy unfolded with too much information and, mere hours later, not enough. Then, right on cue, Lisa Marie Presley cleared everything up.
· This Week in Awards Hell: Bashir stunned WALL-E. The PGA boosted. The WGA snubbed. The DGA sleepwalked. The people spoke (drunkenly). And Dakota Fanning became an Honorary Sista.
· We also celebrated the Listys, a two-part ceremony honoring film criticism's most illustrious and/or incomprehensible Top 10 lists.
· While Lisa Rinna chatted us up about the Golden Globes, the founder of the Razzies explained his awards' baffling Spirit snub.
· Relationships imploded for juggsy clairvoyants, Lindsay Lohan (we think), and the unfortunate son of trigger-happy chopper mom Mrs. B.
· Boy! That saucy Josh Brolin sure knows how to party, doesn't he?
· Jeremy Piven SushiGate worsened this week with his ill-conceived visit to The View and rumors of a lawsuit. Meanwhile, his aggrieved Speed the Plow producers shocked the Broadway establishment by casting Terry Bradshaw in Piven's old role.
· Weary Barbara Walters resolved to be nice to her View co-hosts in 2009. That could have gone better.
· Patrick Swayze might not be as ill as you thought. Michael Jackson, on the other hand...
· MTV Exec #1: "So, get anything nice for the holidays?" MTV Exec #2: "Eh, the usual. A box of shit. You?"