Britney Spears Has Her Children Spy on Their Dad's New Girlfriend

The War of the Roses continues, with pop sanger Britney Spears asking her two sons, Harmony Korine and Palookaville, to file weekly spy reports about her ex, Ferret Chancellor Kevin Federline.

• Yes, it is true! I am working on a Saturday. And Britney is somehow jealous of the woman, a 6 foot tall she-beast named Victoria Prince, who is dating her whiskery little back-up dancer/Portugese rapper ex-hubby. What the boys can really tell her given their age, Ricardo Montalban is 3 and Diamond Walnuts is 2, is sort of beyond me. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kanye West, the rapper chiseled by God Himself from His finest onyx, would like less fans. Because he wants to be freer or something. OK. Easy enough. [Showbiz Spy]
• Russell Crowe was "so old and fat" and Sienna Miller "so young and gorgeous" that she had to drop out of their film Nottingham because their love scenes would look silly. Sounds like Crowe's been saying "Yessing, ham!" to me. Apologies for that! [P6]
• Nicole Kidman is as ashamed of Australia as everyone else should be. Plus her face is all fucked up!!11! [P6]
• Ryan Seacrest wants us to believe that he's boning some Playboy model, as they were spotted recently canoodling at a restaurant in St. Bart's. Later that evening they returned to their hotel room, flopped down on their beds, ordered ice cream from room service, and stayed up way too late watching the second half of Syndey White and reruns of Two-a-Days, squealing every time Ross came on screen. [P6]
• Debbie Harry got old because that's how life works but now she somehow isn't old again! How did she do it??? [TMZ]
• Ew. Gross. Joey Fatone went to the AVN porn awards in Las Vegas. Ew. Gross. Joey Fatone has a penis. [TMZ]

Send an email to Richard Lawson, the author of this post, at richardl@gawker.com.

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