Somali Pirate Suffers Trite Action Movie Demise

A swashbuckling Somali pirate went back for one last big score. He thought he had it made—until disaster struck. The hand of providence at work? Or just proof that pirate stories are all cinematic?

Five hardy Somali pirates jacked a Saudi oil tanker and successfully received a $3 million ransom. HOLY COW. And then the worst thing ever happened on the best day of their lives:

Five pirates drowned Friday when their small boat capsized after they received a reported $3 million ransom for releasing a Saudi oil tanker. Local resident Omar Abdi Hassan said one of the bodies had been found on a beach near the coastal town of Haradhere and relatives were searching for the other four.

“One of them was discovered and they are still looking for the other ones. He had $153,000 in a plastic bag in his pocket,” he said Sunday.

That poor Somali pirate washed ashore clutching his big score—but he couldn't take it with him. No room in Davy Jones' locker. Though the grand pirate war will only make them greater folk heroes, the buccaneers shall not escape the creepy judgment of the LORD. Let's all be thankful Mel Gibson and Danny Glover weren't on the scene to make inappropriately pithy remarks. [Chron.com]