The Obama Merchandise Classification SystemS

Maybe you've noticed there's a lot of Barack Obama-themed crap for sale these days. Overwhelmed by your choices? We've broken it all down into four easy categories for you. Buy now!:

The Obama Merchandise Classification System

Official Crap
From: The Obama campaign/ office/ machine itself, so you know it's real.
For: Earnest liberal suckers.
Examples: Nanette Lepore's Hope Anchor Ladies Fine Jersey T-Shirt ($65), that Shepard Fairey poster (Sold out!), the memorabilia offered with the "Commemorative" pseudo-invitation to the inauguration, which was a real letdown, by the way.

The Obama Merchandise Classification System

Media Crap
From: Media outlets who desperately need to piggyback on Obama's popularity to make up for their own unpopularity.
For: You, the reader, and you, the viewer.
Examples: NYT 'Obama' front page jigsaw puzzle ($50), Time's special Obama victory issue, Poynter's book of nothing but 'Obama' front pages (bestseller!).

The Obama Merchandise Classification System

Knick-Knack Crap
From: Every damn body from here to freakin' China.
For: Everyone who feels the aforementioned categories do not provide enough variety in Obama-branded miscellany.
Examples: Obama perfume, Obama commemorative plates, Obama-as-black-hero bootleg t-shirts everywhere, 'Nanobamas,' CHOC-O-BAMA (or does that belong in the next category?).

The Obama Merchandise Classification System

Offensive Crap
From: Racists, Republicans.
For: Racists, Republicans.
Examples: Obama monkey puppet, Obama Rasta shirts, Obama sex tape spam, "If Obama is President, will we still call it the White House?" buttons.