Every Celebrity Ever to Appear at Inauguration Concert

Last week there was some worry about who was performing at the Obama Inauguration Concert. Now our question has been answered. Which celebrities will be appearing? All of them!

Dropping by the celebratory concert, broadcast next Sunday night by HBO—but available to anyone with a cable box:

Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Bono, Garth Brooks, Sheryl Crow, Renee Fleming, Josh Groban, Herbie Hancock, Heather Headley, John Legend, Jennifer Nettles, John Mellencamp, Usher Raymond IV, Shakira, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, will.i.am, and Stevie Wonder

"Usher Raymond IV"! How dignified! In addition to the musical numbers, there will be a few "historical passages" read by celebrity actors. Those celebrities are Jamie Foxx, Martin Luther King III, Queen Latifah and Denzel Washington. The gay Episcopalian Reverend V. Gene Robinson is slated to give the invocation.

So a soulful hippie hop party that includes bits of stirring history, all presided over by a homo Reverend. A new goddamned day in America indeed.