Drugs Are The New Anti-Love

Love scientists, fresh off the discoveries that Axe Body Spray and liquor will help you get laid, have helpfully confirmed that "love" is simply an annoying chemical reaction. Which can now be blocked!

A love vaccine seems simpler and more practical, and already there are some drugs that seem to inhibit people’s romantic impulses... Such a vaccine has already been demonstrated in prairie voles.

“If we give an oxytocin blocker to female voles, they become like 95 percent of other mammal species,” Dr. Young said. “They will not bond no matter how many times they mate with a male or hard how he tries to bond. They mate, it feels really good and they move on if another male comes along. If love is similarly biochemically based, you should in theory be able to suppress it in a similar way.”

Just squirt a little oxytocin blocker up the nostril, apply your Axe Body Spray and throw down some shots and have uninterrupted drama-free sex. Teen boys were right all along! [John Tierney Hates Love. Pic via]