TV Guide Takes Active Steps To Imagine A World Without 'Bromance'

Back when everyone in America was doing coke and playing Galaga, TV Guide was the only game in town for television schedules. Now, we all have set-top boxes, and TV Guide is pissed.

How mad are they? Mad enough to totally drop the CW and MTV from their channel lineup for no real reason! The Philadelphia Inquirer's David Hiltbrand noticed the weird omission and checked in with Scott Crystal, TV Guide's CEO and president. "There are now hundreds of channels on television and we can only accommodate approximately 70 in our primetime grids," he e-mailed. "In the past few weeks, the following networks have not appeared in the grids: MTV, CW, DIY and TV Guide Network." Damn, even TV Guide Network! Must have been an awkward office Christmas party.

But why would TV Guide drop those high-profile networks from its scheduling grids while retaining, say, QVC? According to Variety, it's because the home shopping network is a major advertiser—which might also explain why the extra room in the grid has been filled by an expanded listing for MyNetwork, broadcast networks' laughable baby cousin who no one talks about. Also, Variety speculates, maybe the magazine is now read exclusively by old people who can't figure out why their set-top box remotes are not emitting money when they try to stick their ATM cards in. If that's the case, will any of them notice that there are no upcoming times listed for The Hills and Privileged? They will not, preferring instead to use the magazine as a TV dinner coaster and an occasional reminder of when The Bonnie Hunt Show is on.