Well, this is no way to treat that nice old man who bought you some new knockers! Now that Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson has escaped, she's revealing all about Hugh Hefner—and their sex life.
Like a rebellious wild child turned much less fun football wife, Wilkinson is renouncing her former lifestyle ("Now I'm totally against [Hefner's] way of life") in a tell-all to Us Weekly. And what better way to do it then let the air out of the sexy, polygamous balloon by admitting that when she wanted to get laid, it wasn't with any of the magazine founders, fellow Girls, teenage sons, or strangely aggressive peacocks on the grounds of Hef's Holmby Hills estate?
"I had to have sex every now and then, so I had to kind of sneak it," Hugh Hefner's 23-year-old ex tells Us Weekly.
The buxom blonde says "of course" she and the Playboy founder were intimate, but notes she often only saw him once a day - in passing.
"Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates," she said.
"The most we kind of say to each other is, 'I love you,' 'Love you too,' 'I hope you have a good day,' 'Did you have a good day?'" [...]
"Bridget told me that she's been faithful all these years, and I was like, 'How the hell can you do that?' I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age, like a healthy human being."
We're sad to learn of Wilkinson's unconscionable betrayal; after all, what could be sexier than retiring to Hef's four-poster bed at night (after a flinty Holly narrows her eyes in the bedroom hallway and growls, "Your turn") to find the 82-year-old Playboy founder splayed out in an uncomfortably hiked up kimono, tongue lolling? "Kendra, I want to put my hand on your breast," he would say, limply. "Will you lift my hand and do that?"
[Photo Credit: AP]