· Say what you want about US Airways—their pilots are emergency-water-landing champs. Experience the terror via the eyewitness account of one scared-shitless passenger.

· In other TSA news, Johnny Knoxville was stopped at LAX after security found a...drumroll...grenade in his carry-on bag. After Knoxville explained that it was a completely harmless shell that he meant to later shove up his ass in Jackass 3, they apologized and he made his flight.
· Yes, it's true. Steve Carell bought the Marshfield General Store on Massachusetts' south shore, where you can stock up on pennywhistles and moonpies before your carp-fishing expedition.
· After the success of The Tonight Show's last celebrity-DNA-gathering foray, the show dispatched intern Ross to the Golden Globes to collect more biological matter. We'd say a serviette soaked in Susan Sarandon's boob sweat is a priceless commodity, wouldn't you?
· Jon Hamm fans: Your Don Draper-doing-you-on-a-desk fantasies will probably not be enhanced by the image of him scootin' around town on a homemade Rascal, nor the one of him whispering sweet nothings into Tina Fey's ear.

See ya on the slopes!