You thought Gossip Girl was the most important thing to talk about today? Incorrect. That title does, in fact, belong to last night's episode of The City. Participate in the discourse after the jump.

Basically there were two stories, both about young men being stupid idiots who are stupid.

The first doltish male was our very favorite be-cheetah-shirted Nevan Donahue. He's Olivia Palermo's bulbous and clearly drug-addicted cousin who is a layabout with no job. He moaned to Liv about not having work and a regular schedule, which caused him instead to end up at "East Village watering holes" at 2pm having drinks with schmoes. The heiress with a fake job at a fashion hut and a Tribeca apartment nodded sagely and stressed to him the importance of good honest work. Nevan didn't so much take it to heart as much as flop on her couch and say he was never going to do anything but drink and be drug-bloated and wriggle around on this TV show for a spell. Ladies, he's single!

Who is not single is Adam, the model roommate of Australian dater of Whitney, Jay Serious. Adam's model girlfriend, Pinchy, went on a photo gig or whatever, so Jay and Adam decided to have a boy's night. This did not, sadly, involve tequila shooters, Greco-Roman wrestling, and tender, fumbly first adventures. No, it meant that they got crunkly at a clurrrb, fittingly called Cain. There was lots of thumpa thumpa and girls with dangly earrings. One in particular, Catarina, knew people Whitney knew or something, so the producers told her to sidle up to Adam and make him do bad things. The cameras cut away after Jay chuckled and said something about how this shit wasn't gonna be good, mate.

Twasn't good. At brunch the next day, Whitney's friend got a text that told a sordid story of an 8am booze fest—one in which Adam sucked mug and maybe bumped uglies with the scheming Cat. Upon hearing the story, Whitney, doing a spot-on impression of anyone who's ever watched this show, put her head in her hands and said "what's wrong with these people?" No one knows Whitney. No one knows. So of course the girls banded together and, during another brunch (at Cafeteria, sigh), told Pinchy that malfeasance had gone down. This was after Adam had a mumbly broversation with a head-shaking Jay and he denied everything, and after Adam picked Pinchy up at the airport and he told her there were wicked rumors being spread that just weren't true, baby.

Pinchy, because she has a great relationship, believed the stranger girls over her man and told him to come meet her in the rain. He came galoompfing up in his stupid boy way with his big stupid bumbershoot and she sobbed and wondered why a playa gotta play and he said "I'm sorrryyyy honey" in a six year old way. She whined and whimpered some more, clearly not as repulsed by his blatant lying and patronizing as she should have been. In the end they hugged tenderly and let the rain fall down and young girls everywhere learned an important lesson about steeling your heart against bitter truths so you won't be alone. Well done everyone!

Next week there are more Adam shenanigans, if I remember correctly. Maybe there will be Nevan too. Maybe he'll find some old academic robes and a mortarboard on the sidewalk and he'll wear them around, saying that he's a professor while blood drips out of his nose. I'd watch that. I guess.