Pete Wentz: Political Strategist

The Huffington Post asked one of our finest minds, pop rocker Pete Wentz, to give new prez Barack Obama advice drawn from his experience of being famous for marrying Ashlee Simpson. He totally relates, bro.

Wentz waxes poetic about Obama being the underdog, but then turns grave. Underdogs have to deliver on a lot of promises.

But a funny thing happens when the underdog wins (trust me on this one, I have scratched and won one of the biggest lottery tickets that a goofy little Midwestern guy like me can get away with). The elation is high, but so are the expectations. Now there is a rapt audience. There is a microphone hissing, and feedback. When that happened before it was quaint and authentic. Now it's annoying and unprofessional.

Oh, clever! More metaphor, plz:

At the risk [Um, risk?] of extending the metaphor, President Obama faces a challenge like Lauryn Hill after her album "Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" won five Grammys or the Coen Brothers after Blood Simple won the Sundance Grand Jury Prize. Will it take a while for his own Fargo or No Country for Old Men? Or will success come early and often?

In the next edition of popular column "From Wentz It Came," a plea for Mr. Baker to let seniors hang out in the theater's sound booth during free period, and an investigation into the weird smell at the far end of the sophomore hallway.