Curing The Celebrity Disease With Bongs Memos

Tribune Co. Chief InnLOLvation Officer Lee Abrams has a new memo! "CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY...We can't underestimate our importance these days. We can change this cultural disease." Both of those assertions are false.

It is decidedly preferable for a Tribune Co. media outlet to underestimate its own importance these days. And nothing the Chicago Tribune or LA Times does will change the American Celebrity Cultural Disease. Lee has already made clear his belief that "SEX AND RELIGION ARE THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT TOPICS ION THE WORLD!", so I don't know why he doesn't think he can fit celebrities into that paradigm.

Jeff Bercovici points out that, in the course of this short and inexplicable memo, Abrams managed to fall for a thoroughly discredited internet fake quote. But really, the fact that Lee Abrams is able to operate an e-mailer machine at all is so astounding that we're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

THINK PIECE: CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT

CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. What I mean here is that We can't underestimate our importance these days. We can change this cultural disease. Exciting and important time to be in the information business like the 80s was an exciting time to be in show biz....we can't blow it by offering dated TV that's over slick and cliche ridden or Print too sluggish and bland. Our position is too important.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Miss America 1995 from Alabama
Heather Whitestone (and she won??!!)

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Popular Pop Singer Mariah Carey

Scary stuff...we can't feed this machine. we need to work hard at being Intelligent but unconvemntional. Inspirational. Agents of change.

[Mixed Media]