Have you ever wanted to see Slash fight Lily Tomlin over an elephant? You're in luck!

This is the only-in-LA situation brought to our attention by LAist, which has been tracking a celebrity turf war over the LA Zoo's only elephant, Billy. Lily Tomlin thinks the zoo's elephant space is too small! Slash thinks it's perfectly sufficient!

Kevin Nealon opines that "the LA zoo is not a good place for elephants." The LA Zoo is not a good place for anything, except watching children and animals look miserable (and Dippin' Dots!).


Cher compared the zoo to slavery, which is true, if slaves lived on uninspiring plantations built in the 1980s and hid behind rocks all day, inspiring small children to whine, "Mommy! Where are the slaves?!"

Bob Barker was on hand to protest both the elephant quarters and Drew Carey's terminal lack of enthusiasm hosting The Price is Right.


As for Robert Culp? He was just happy to be nominated.