Obamas Are America's Last Celebrities

It's weird, isn't it, that the Obamas are still on celebrity mag covers? On this week's Us, there's Michelle and the kids, next to a little sidebar with "fat" Jessica Simpson and lonely Jennifer Aniston.

And it's a dumb celeb happy family profile story, done with obvious cooperation from the Obamas. SECRETS OF A WHITE HOUSE MOM! Breaking: expensive Hollywood interior designer Michael Smith will redecorate the White House with some crap from the Pottery Barn! For serious! (Maybe he'll stop by Pier 1 too and really go after that accessible
"Top Chef Restaurant Wars" look.) And god, the utter inanity of this whole thing is making us really sick of these adorable little girls.

But the girls will use some traditional decor!

Malia — who is currently reading the Twilight book series (she tackled Harry Potter with dad) — plans to do her homework from Sidwell Friends School at the desk where Abraham Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation!

But Michelle's goal is keeping her daughters grounded. In addition to doing chores like pouring milk on their own cereal despite a huge White House staff, "pretty much we'll see Michelle and the girls in the White House kitchen, trying to bake something together, and her raising them as if they were still in Chicago," family friend Kim Lightford tells Us Weekly.

God, Michelle, don't let Malia read Twilight. Ugh. Or, fine, let her read whatever she wants, but don't endorse it to a magazine! And good work with the milk, guys! Who's your publicist?

Maybe interest in the Obamas will die out soon, but it's not like there's anyone else left who can sell magazines, right?