Alan Cumming On Barack Obama Just As Filthy As It SoundsS

Alan Cumming thinks he has found a man whose wang is bigger, wider, and even more America-shaping than Billy Crudup's cerulean love-stick: our president, Barack Obama.

Here is his scandalous theory, as told to New York:

“I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises,” Cumming told us. “I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size — with his comfort with his penis size.”

Cumming developed this theory, he says, through extensive research. “So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows.”

And his highly trained eye says Obama is hung. “Well, just look at him,” Professor Cumming explained. “Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself.”

“Also,” Alan added as an afterthought, “someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big.”

We suppose that only Michelle knows for sure (though we can confirm Cumming's correlation of self-assurance to large endowments—you should see how Mr. Defamer conducts himself around Lifehacker, Gizmodo, and Jezebel. Let's just say that when he confidently leaves the room, he isn't the only one with a raised eyebrow).

[Photo Credit: AP]