Thus begins Super Bowl weekend, but we're more excited about Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl V. Watching cute dogs pounce around a miniature football stadium will help take the edge off your negative checking balance.
Dog Whisperer: Chihuahuas From Hell [8 PM, National Geographic] - Cesar Milan hits up Portland this week to rehab a vicious chihuahua named El Diablo who attacks rescued pit bulls. With the success of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, many have forgotten that these small dogs can be a menace, but in reality, it's the owners who are the menace. Dog Whisperer is the perfect show for this new age of responsibility. Yeah, your dog attacked some lady, but you're the problem, not Mr. Sprinkles.
Late Show with David Letterman [11:35 PM, CBS] - Guests tonight: Mary Hicks, The Gaslight Anthem. Comedian Bill Hicks passed away in 1994, but his status as a folk hero/comedy legend has only appreciated since he succumbed to cancer at the age of 32. We're not going to recount the famous Hicks-Letterman censorship incident (here it is in Hicks's own words), but this appearance of Hicks's mother Mary on the Late Show and the airing of some - or all - of the censored routine is a major TV closure event. Even if you are not a Hicks fan, this is one of those special Late Show episodes you shouldn't miss.
20/20 [9 PM, ABC] - Taking a title (presumably) from an issue of Sassy, tonight's episode: "The Science of Seduction: Why Him Why Her?" takes us into the world of millionaire matchmaker April Beyer to get to the bottom of this important issue. We hope that, at some point, the current economic climate is acknowledged, but this piece feels like something they're trying to get rid of before primetime becomes a series of clip shows (see the KILL section) designed to take our minds off the financial difficulties afflicting the nation.
Adrenaline Rush Hour [9 PM, Discovery] - We really wish the New York Times wouldn't encourage the endless recycling of disaster footage from the Discovery vault, but here is the season premiere of another clip chow. Thrill yourself to scenes of a runaway minivan that crashes into a tattoo parlor, a dissatisfied customer with a shotgun and a runaway truck. If you happen to fall asleep during the first time a clip is shown, don't worry. There will be multiple replays, and some will be zoomed in — for extra graininess! It's cheap and easy, but the Discovery Channel used to be about teaching us stuff, not about getting us to scream things like "Yo, that dude got his shit knocked the fuck out!" at the television.