Crapsuck Angel Book To Be Made into Poopstink Movie In Six Figure Deal

Sony has "won" the right to make Angelology into a movie. For those of you who don't know, and really who the fuck would know this, Angelology is a book about angels.

Angelology is the debut novel of Danielle Trussoni (pictured). Last week, it was acquired by Viking for a sum in the "high six figures." According to Variety:
"Angelology" revolves around a 23-year old nun, who teams with an angelologist named Verlaine as they race to thwart a group that tries to corral the destructive powers of a race of angel/human hybrids called Nephilim. Their goal is to destroy mankind. Verlaine starts out working for the bad guys—who then tried to kill him—before he teamed with Sister Evangeline in a search for ancient artifacts that are the only things that can stop the Nephilim. The book is steeped in mythology and historical Biblical references, but the ingredients are there for a spiritual thriller.

The book set off a massive Manichean bidding war for an English language (excluding Canada) publisher. Viking won that last week with a "high six figure offer." A week later, Sony entered into a bidding war with Universal and Warner Brothers. The deal, first reported in Variety, is in the "seven figure" range.

To recap: Author Danielle Trussoni wrote one memoir about her dad that was pretty good. So then she wrote a novel about a nun and angels and bad guys and a character named Verlaine. This book as "cross between "Da Vinci Code" and "National Treasure." This was supposed to be a good thing though I'd slap anyone who said that about something I wrote. ["Hey Joshua, great story! It's like a cross between poop and gum!"] Anyway, Trussoni's didn't seem to mind. Her book sold for "high six figures." A week later, that book was optioned by Sony to be made into a movie in a "seven figure deal."


What are the lessons we learned? Write about father issues? Get accolades. Write some nincompoop quasi-spiritual thriller full of religious gobbledygook? Become an instant millionaire!