Christina Norman, who used to head MTV, will now take over The Oprah Network. What do we have to look forward to? The Hills, Oprah Style! Real World: Oprah! True Life: I'm Oprah!
Norman, a hip 45 year old if such a thing exists, will be responsible for landing big advertisers. That may not be so much a problem, advertising industry experts note, since Oprah is a big target. ANother challenge is how do you fill up a cable network with one lady? Will it be like the Puppy Channel, or an Acquarium, but with Oprah's face filling your screen? Perhaps the commercial breaks will be Oprah softly murmuring the names of brands. "Archer Daniels Midland, Supermarket to the World. Archer Daniels Midland, Supermarket to the World" Probably not. Probably Christina Norman will try to Oprafy MTV's successful shows.
The Hills: Episode One
Oprah is sitting at home, watching her own show on television. Oprah walks in and says, "Oprah, do you want to meet Oprah and his sister at Sushi Dan?" "Oh my god," says Oprah, "I'd love to." The two drive in a 1993 Ford Tempo to Sunset Boulevard. They get their car valeted. The Oprahs go to meet Oprah and his sister Oprah. But across the restaurant they spy Oprah, Oprah's estranged best friend. "Slut," says Oprah. A long shot lingers on Oprah's face.
"Archer Daniels Midland. Archer Daniels Midland"
Oprah and Oprah, Oprah and Oprah are at Social Hollywood. They discuss spotting Oprah at Sushi Dan. Oprah says, "You know, she's such a bitch. How did she know I was going to be at Sushi Dan?" Her ire turns toward Oprah and his sister Oprah who, she suspects, had tipped Oprah off to Oprah's presence. A screaming match ensues.
"John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation. John D. and Catherine T. McArthur Foundation"
Next week on the HIlls: Oprah hooks up with Oprah's ex, Oprah!