Stupid Cost-Cutting Tricks: 'Public Spaces Will Be Reduced in Size'

American companies spare no expense making their employees pay for the recession! Today's cuts: lunchtime, rubber bands, your, uh, job, and a full memo from Reed Business about everyone getting closer, and closer:

i work at sony music (formerly sonybmg) and they won't let us order water anymore, which i know has been a pretty common way for people to cut costs. it still sucks though. also they no longer are allowing overtime for most of the company and considering a lot of admin's have to work another job to survive on their salary, that pretty much sucks. and they're making everyone take a full hour lunch no matter what, which i think is just mean. yes, it's true that most people could benefit from a little time away from their desks, but considering that nobody is getting compensated for overtime, most people are working through lunch so that they don't have to stay late and not get paid. which means that they are claiming an hour lunch that they never even took. and although the music industry is suffering, and has been for years, ac/dc and britney spears are doing just fine thank you and if we can pay john mayer the 13 mil i just saw on an advance check the other day then perhaps the drones could get a break.

anyway, happy weekend! i'm already drinking my troubles away!!!

Be thankful that the gentle lords of Sony support your alcoholism. Pure charity!

I work for a small business of about 80 employees. Our cuts started with office supplies (no re-ordering paper clips, pens, or rubber bands. I was asked to bring in the rubber bands that come with my morning paper if I needed them. I don't get the morning paper). Then they cut staff a little and also stopped re-hiring for positions when someone moved on. Now they have announced that despite such bold measures, nothing worked so—haha, funny story—the business is closing and everyone is going to be out of a job. Oh, and today (at work) my boss asked me to edit and proofread his resume for him (on company time).

That is just kind of heartbreaking. Finally, Reed Business laid off 7% of its staff last week. How will they cut costs moving forward? All in together now!

From: Smith, Tad (RBI-US)
Sent: Mon 2/2/2009 10:14 AM
To: RBI-US All New York Users
Subject: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FOR NEW YORK OFFICE STAFF MEMBERS. . . .

No, we are not announcing a move to New Jersey. . . (although I confess to reviewing that option regularly).

However, in light of our lower staffing levels, a weak advertising environment, and tough cost pressure we are going to have to ask Carol Quinones to review our space needs and shrink our New York office space by at least one and probably two floors (certainly the 11th and likely also the 13th floors). Unfortunately, this will require tough sacrifices for all of us:

- there will be fewer offices

- office sizes will shrink

- conference rooms will be converted where possible

- book rooms and other storage will be relocated to another site or, if space allows, downstairs in this building

- consultant and guest offices and cubicles will be converted into "shared space offices" meaning that no permanent space will be provided to anyone who is not a full-time staff member

- public spaces will be reduced in size

I agree this message is a huge pain, but please rest assured we will do everything to make this move as comfortable as possible. Please do not complain to or make the lives of Carol and our tireless facilities staff miserable as a result of this news. You are welcome to pick up the phone and come see me at any time if you have a specific problem or issue with this.

By the way, I promise that Carol and I will do the minimum dislocation required to get this done and not a bit more. Finally, we plan to begin this process tomorrow and it will move swiftly. Carol will speak with local management teams starting today to plan it appropriately.

Thank you in advance for this,

Tad

Tad Smith
CEO
Reed Business Information

This will also save on heat, through the closeness of bodies. A corporate masterstroke! Please send more tales of woe.