Today in Obama's Nation-Fixing Cabinet News

Tom Daschle is really sorry about the taxes, though of course the GOP is just going after him because he wants to socialize all the medicine. Senators like him, though, so he will probably be confirmed, soon. Meanwhile:

Some random New Hampshire Republican Senator will be our new commerce secretary, because Barack Obama is committed to symbolic bipartisanship. The governor of New Hampshire, a Democrat, gets to appoint the guy's replacement! But the senator guy made the governor promise not to appoint a Democrat. So this little game or whatever it was backfired and now we're stuck with a Republican commerce secretary, jeez.

And Eric Holder will probably be our new Attorney General, even though Republicans want him to promise not to investigate any illegal torturing or anything like that may have happened over the last eight years.

A little while back all the other guys in the cabinet posed for yet more hideous photos taken by terrible celebrity "photographer" Annie Liebovitz Obviously they were all posed topless and draped in sheets.