Sometimes you just want to be left alone. Michael Phelps reportedly tried to pay to make pictures of his bong hits go away; John Mayer wants a lower profile than Jennifer Aniston offers.
- Michael Phelps supposedly tried to buy the picture of himself doing a bong hit. Then he reportedly offered to write a sports column for News of the World if they'd kill their exclusive. [Scoop]
- First Madonna was telling her Brazilian model friend there were no strings attached to the relationship, next thing you know he's meeting her kids. There's no such thing as "ficando," people.
- John Mayer would like to do the right thing by Jennifer Aniston this time around, but unfortunately she does not advance his goal of keeping a low profile. Pissing her off and getting spotted with other women somehow does. (No one said Mayer was good at thinking these things through.) [Gatecrasher]
- So, yes, Katie Holmes looks gaunt in this picture, but she just finished a Broadway play and is eating sushi. Has Jeremy Piven taught her nothing? [Mirror]
- Allen Iverson carries around a $50,000 wad of cash and gambles it on poker. Ha! Obviously he should be stashing his money in a proper investment bank and investing in a reputable hedge fund, maybe some real esta... actually Iverson, are you accepting investments at the moment? [P6]
- Gwyneth Paltrow, on her blog critics: "I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and, for a second, your ego is so wounded." [OK!]
- Britney Spears demanded and received permission to take her children on tour with her. All she had to give ex-husband Kevin Federline in return was $4,000 per week and his own home in each of three cities. [Us]
- There's a warrant out for Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis' arrest, but when isn't there, really? This one is federal, and involves tax evasion charges. [Fox News]
- John Cleese denied reports he "went to great lengths to make his body look good," because apparently that's something you're supposed to be ashamed about in Britain. [Mirror]