Scarlett Johansson Fed Up With Ryan Reynolds's Third Nipple

Though Scarlett Johansson usually warbles the words of a male troubadour, she's now singing a different tune about parts of the male anatomy that she's just not that into.

If you'll recall that Johansson's new husband Ryan Reynolds recently revealed a third, superfluous nipple to Rachel Ray (it wasn't as sexually incriminating as it sounds), perhaps you'll be able to read between the lines of Johansson's non sequitur rant to the Chicago Sun-Times:

Q: What is the one thing you don't understand about men?

SCARLETT: Nipples. I don't know if there is one aspect of men that I don't understand other than why they have nipples. Honestly, why? I guess it has something to do with the X chromosome. What is the function of the male nipple? Maybe we all start as androgynous creatures and then they become men?

For someone whose most minor bodily expulsions can fetch several thousand dollars, it's no surprise that Johansson finds herself dismissive of Reynolds's nipples, which despite their number, haven't seemed to add to their bottom line. Just don't start knocking the abs, Scarlett—that's where your husband gets his breadwinning power from.