Witnesses Report Another Boy Bander Abducted by Gay.F.O.

A nation of 37ish, backwards-looking women screams out in agony today, tearing posters down from their office cubicles and hurling NKOTB-themed Trapper Keepers out the nearest window: The dream is officially over.

Second-cutest New Kids on the Block member (because omgJoeyweloveyouandwanttenthousandofyourbabies!) Jonathan Knight has been exposed by the National Enquirer as enjoying the company of other New Kids—which, if you follow such things on gossipy blogspots, seemed to be something of an open secret. Boy Culture scanned the expose in question, replete with damning kissy photos provided by a former lover:

Kyle Wilker, 27, tells the rag Jonathan realized he "preferred guys to girls" after dating Tiffany. (Sorry, Tiff. Ouch.) "We had a wonderful relationship. I was in love with him and I believe he was in love with me." [...]

[T]his "beautiful, romantic story" came to an end after 18 months with Wilker now telling the 'bloid that Jonathan likes to stay at home and watch TV and read. "I call him a straight guy who happens to be gay."

If you've already purchased tickets to the New Kids' triumphant comeback tour, we'd like to take this moment to emphasize that the alleged bedroom proclivities of its various members should have no discernible impact upon your concertgoing experience. They'll suck as much as they always did—no more, no less. So cheer up, ladies!