Judith Warner's Dreams of Our President

Were you wondering about the response of entitled comfortable menopausal women to the Obama presidency? No, you weren't, because those women are well-represented in our media, and you already knew they wanted to fuck the president.

So here's Judith Warner, in the Times, on that phenomenon. She had a weird dream about the president! It involved him smoking in her house and taking a shower, and her husband was enraged, because his biracial bohemian ways shook up their tired lives, like in a Sam Mendes movie.

So she "launched an e-mail inquiry" and, naturally, this was the result:

Many women - not too surprisingly - were dreaming about sex with the president. In these dreams, the women replaced Michelle with greater or lesser guilt or, in the case of a 62-year-old woman in North Florida, whose dream was reported to me by her daughter, found a fully above-board solution: "Michelle had divorced Barack because he had become ‘too much of a star.' He then married my mother, who was oh so proud to be the first lady," the daughter wrote me.

Judith Warner's Dreams of Our President

Ok! Cool! Have fun with that, lady! But of course the real window into the souls of entitled old white people lies in their huge insecurities. Barack Obama is recognizable, almost familiar: an Ivy League lawyer success story. But he's so much more of a success than everyone else! Shit gets weird:

Another Washington woman, a global health care consultant, expressed her sense of Obama-inadequacy in a dream: "I dreamed I was an Obama girl. I had a chance to be in the same room with him for the first time. There were dark velvet chairs and he was standing there with all this dark and mist around him. His lips so purple and sensuous as if to be otherworldly," she wrote to me. "I moved gently toward him and then I said the wrong thing. Obama tamped it down like some vapor that didn't register. He wasn't even flattered."

And, as usual, the worst parents in the world weigh in:

"Why won't my kids be sleeping over at the White House? And as my daughter noted, why couldn't she get to sit front and center and see the Jonas Brothers and Miley perform at the kids' inaugural concert? If she went to Sidwell, then she might have these chances, she said …" wrote a mother whose kids are not at Sidwell Friends school with Sasha and Malia.

"Will Michelle stay down to earth? She could prove it by joining our book club," wrote a Sidwell mom.

Jesus Christ if you only read New York media you'd assume every mother in America was basically a monster, right? Having twins for attention and wondering why their special little idiot-spawn didn't get to make out with the Jonas Brothers on a play date with the First Daughters. Can the Senate put the birth control stuff back in the stimulus bill?

[Painting by Dan Lacey]