The Man, The Myth, The Ponytail

New York Fashion Week begins Thursday but we're getting the jump on it tonight. First up: The ageless icon Karl Lagerfeld. Maybe you can't afford his clothing, but you can probably achieve his hairstyle.

WATCH

Lagerfeld Confidential [7 PM, Sundance] - Robert Redford's ex will be airing a "style-oriented film" at 7 PM every night this week. Like Lagerfeld himself, Rodolphe Marconi's ninety minute documentary folds mystery and shimmer into a portrait of the iconic designer. The uncomfortable highlights include KL discussing his first sexual experience and expounding on his hatred for people who can't stand being alone.

The Big Bang Theory [9:30 PM, CBS] - Penny (Kaley Cuoco) and Leonard (Johnny Galecki) grow closer when Leonard's mom (guest-star Christine Baranski) visits and they resort to alcohol to take the edge off. The Obama press conference (5 PM here on the West Coast) messes with primetime on the East Coast, so we are forced to remember that this is on ninety minutes later than normal to balance out the universe or something.

TiVo

The Man, The Myth, The Ponytail

The Bachelor [8 PM, ABC] - The dreaded hometown visit episode is finally here, and even though we have stuck with this installment, we'll probably just fast forward through this one looking for crying/sexy moments. Also, with Megan Parris no longer in the running, we have lost our emotional connection to the plight of Jason, his son and his houseboat (Yes, we are aware we could have just watched Sleepless in Seattle, a fact the show slyly referenced last episode during a romantic river cruise). The preview promises a wrench in the previously well-executed blueprint when a bachelorette's family refuses to meet the hot single dad. We're always excited for plot twists that depend on a production assistant's inability to get some small-town family to sign release forms.

Late Show with David Letterman [11:35 PM, CBS] - Naomi Watts, Danny McBride, The Von Bondies. Naomi Watts will be pretty/funny and will talk about her boys, Danny McBride probably has some crazy-ass stories about his boys back in Carolina, and that dude from the Von Bondies got beat down by Jack White. The big event, though, is the reveal of the cover model from this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Spoiler here for the two Defamer readers who care.

KILL

The Man, The Myth, The Ponytail

The Girls of Hedsor Hall [9 PM, MTV] - Donald Trump's new reality competition premieres tonight, with a dozen hard-partying American girls sent to an English finishing school. There they will be straightened out by a headmistress, disciplinarian and disgraced former Miss USA, Tara Conner. The contestant who has transformed the most by the time they have enough footage will be awarded a $100,000 trust and a diploma. We didn't miss a minute of Bromance, but any show that involves quantifying personal transformation that involves non-celebrities or non-fat people is just an hour of whining with occasional swears bleeped out.