Woman Seeks $4 Billion Restitution For Miley Cyrus's Crimes Against Asianity

Justifiably, semi-apologies and awards-season censure aren't going far enough to repair Miley Cyrus's SlantyGate-poisoned reputation among Asians. It's going to take a lot more — like $4 billion more — to achieve litigated peace.

A woman named Lucie J. Kim filed a class-action lawsuit Wednesday on behalf of "more than 1 million Asian Pacific Islanders who live in L.A. County," according to TMZ. The suit alleges that Miley "knew or should have known that her image would be publicly disseminated via the media," which thus makes her complicit in a civil-rights violation against those million claimants. Kim wants $4,000 per, putting Miley on the hook for $4 billion. That seems more than fair considering the international scope of her offense, a Hague-worthy lapse of judgment for which justice delayed is justice denied. Still, an out-of-court settlement seems probable, if only for the likely defense that Miley has suffered at least a half-billion dollars' worth of career trauma from Margaret Cho's devastating "Chinky Eyes" tribute alone. Developing...