She's done reality TV and (horrifyingly) interviewed her own daughter on the red carpet, and now Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay and presumably other children, has an exciting new job opportunity: creepy Long Island transient.

  • Well, OK. Not really. But she does owe almost twelve grand on back property taxes for her Massapaquonsetsauhut home, and if she doesn't pay up next week, the lien will be sold at public auction. Yes, you could buy Dina Lohan's debt and lord it over her forever. Dina of course blames her shiftless drifter ex-husband, Michael: "My ex is in arrears for child support, and I think it has come from that area." Michael responded, through a rep: "I haven't been in arears since I got out of prison." (Sorry, Pareene.) [P6]
  • Madonna would like to ensure, legally, that her two young sons get the proper care when in their father's custody. She filed papers today making sure that they must stay kosher, go to temple twice a week, and have a good internet connection at their dad, Guy Ritchie's, fancy English castle or whatever. And you know what's on the the internet... So, great. Two more rich Jewish boys with sex problems. Thanks, Maddy. [NYDN]
  • Sad, appearance-obsessed Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard has found a fiance, photographer Sasha Brown. Upon hearing that her artsy fartsy brother had found himself a beard, Brown's bitchy, sarcastic younger sister Claire snorted and said "Ha, you don't say." To which Brown's mother, Donna Brown, lightly swatted her daughter's knees and said "Oh you, now stop. Just terrible." But you could tell she was smiling a little bit. [Us]
  • High Ferret Chancellor Kevin Federline is renting out his children to their mother, Louisiana cosmetology student Britney Spears, for $5,000 a week. In a related story, octuplet-birthing mother of 14 Nadya Suleman raised her head suddenly and chirped "You can do that??" [Sun]
  • Peaches Geldof is out at booze parties again, even though she is now a divorced and ruined woman. You'd almost think that the 19-year-old didn't take this stuff seriously or something. [Mirror]