The greatest auction in the history of the universe will be held this April at The Beverly Hills Hotel, featuring over 2000 of Michael Jackson's completely insane personal effects. Here's a preview:

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

Jackson never took his King of Pop title lightly.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

A single orange spandex glove covered with orange Swarovski crystals and rectangular mirrored beads goes with anything, and is highly effective at hailing cabs.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

These bedazzled athletic socks, worn during 1981's Jacksons Triumph Tour, have extra reinforcement for added "HEE-hee!"-accompanied toe-stand support.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

An electric cart with a Peter Pan theme was a fun way for Michael and guest to get around Neverland Ranch. For added amusement, Michael would insist the domestics lie side-by-side on the ground, and jump them Evel Knievel-style with the vehicle. Sometimes he'd clear all of them!

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

Hood detail.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

Jackson's stretch Rolls, with an interior custom-designed to the singer's specifications, is expected to fetch between $140,000 - $160,000.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

The limousine is thought to be the only one in the world with a solid gold bidet.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

This robotic head was featured in the climax of Moonwalker, when Michael transforms into a robot to defeat the evil Mr. Big, played by Joe Pesci.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

The still functioning bust comes apart into several pieces at the push of a button, much like Jackson's actual head.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

Jackson owned Edward's Scissorhands from Tim Burton's Edward Scissorhands—a prized prop he'd frequently slip on and attempt to give Bubbles whimsical haircuts with, leading to much monkey bloodshed.

Michael Jackson Auction Update: Need Some Scissorhands or a Peter Pan Golf Cart?

A pop art painting putting many iconic faces in Jackson's trademark glove and aviator sunglasses manages to make Lincoln and E.T. look really, really gay. Somehow, Einstein just winds up looking extraordinarily fierce—yet another sign of the man's genius.

Check out the rest of the gallery at The Guardian.