Rich People Must Spend Money or Else!

Everybody (especially us!) loves chastising the rich for all their, you know, spending of money. Well the joke's on us, because rich people buying shit is the only hope for our economy. Spend, fuckers!

According to one Edward Glaeser, who is an economics professor at Harvard (just try to top the fanciness of that credential, I dare you smart guy), if you have money, you must spend it now, for patriotism! Recessions actually get worse when the people who do have money decide not to spend it, out of some misguided sense of modesty, or out of fear of being mocked by assholes on the internet.

So go crazy, says Edward Glaeser! Buy gifts! Buy cars! Buy whatever!

How should upper income Americans balance the economic imperative to spend with the social benefits of restraint?... First, spend generously but discreetly. Buy things that are private and enjoy them as much as possible within a close circle of equally fortunate friends.

Golden vibrators. And lots of 'em. [NYT]