RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock

Newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele plans an "off the hook" public relations offensive to attract younger voters, especially blacks and Hispanics, by applying the party's principles to "urban-suburban hip-hop settings."

In an amazing and hilarious interview with noted urban-suburban hip-hop publication the Washington Times (XXL is next week)—whose reporter presumably kept a straight face while transcribing the words of the 50-year-old former Lt. Governor of Maryland who participated in the Glee Club at his catholic high school and was eventually elected student council president and who spent three years as a seminarian in the Order of St. Augustine in the hopes of becoming a priest—Steele told critics to "stuff it."

"We need messengers to really capture that region - young, Hispanic, black, a cross section ... We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-surburban hip-hop settings."

But, he elaborated with a laugh, "we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets."

And:

"It will be avant garde, technically," he said. "It will come to table with things that will surprise everyone - off the hook."

Does that mean cutting-edge?

"I don't do 'cutting-edge,' " he said. "That's what Democrats are doing. We're going beyond cutting-edge."

Then Chairman Steele introduced the new GOP Mascot, Poochie.