Beating An Abuser's ReputationS

If you read Gatecrasher today, you can see the seeds of Chris Brown's would-be image rehabilitation. Step 1, make the singer look remorseful for reportedly attacking Rihanna. Step 2, blame the victim.

The Daily News' gossip section talked to a "snitch" who has an awful rosy view of Brown's future: The R&B artist will get no jail time and maybe will have a "reunion" with recent girlfriend Rihanna — though the tabloid hastens to add that this might just be a reunion in the sense that Rihanna will be in the same room with Brown. In court. Testifying against him for (um, purportedly) beating the crap out of her. But who knows! They could totally make out! (Barf.)

The Daily News adds that Brown plans to attend a couple of anger management classes before his court date, to try and show his genuine desire to change but really mainly to avoid doing time. There's image rehab step 1.

Step 2 is to say Rihanna totally had it coming, for throwing those keys, and being a total hothead:

"Rihanna is temperamental, too," says our snitch. "They're both too hot-headed for their own good."

Adds another source: "It didn't help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked."

The only way this conceivably works is if Rihanna takes him back. That would explain fresh rumors he's inundating the fellow singer with gifts. A reconciliation would be akin to Rihanna sacrificing a chunk of her public respect to salvage some of Brown's. One hopes she has already reached the obvious conclusion about such a proposition: That Brown has taken quite enough from her already.