You know the story: the Today show is now produced by Tristan Tzara, so the program's fourth hour has become a surreal Dadaist tone poem of old ladies yelling. Today's installment: Kathie Lee sleeps naked.

Yeah, Kathie was talking about bathroom lights or one of the other fascinating topics these two gypsies are always yammering on about, and she mentioned that in the nighttime she's nude. Awoken from her "it's come to this..." stupor by the sound of genitals turning to dust and blowing away on an East wind, cohost Hoda said "Whaaatt???" Kathie was indignant and weird as always, while Hoda did an informal census of the crew to see who slept naked. Many people did. But especially Kathie.

But don't worry. If you're planning on breaking into her house and stealing her jewels as I am, she always has some kind of cover up on hand just in case. So, you know. You won't have to spend any of your loot money on an urn to hold your genital dust.

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