NYU Kids Forced to Go Back to Class on Monday

The 18 NYU kids who occupied the Kimmel center got their just desserts: one week suspensions for all!

The tragically confused radicals took over NYU's student center in order to protest everything in the world, without consulting with the various organized groups on campus working on all the various issues they were protesting, and they hung out in the cafeteria for a couple days and then they all got arrested. Well, two of them were arrested.

This was apparently very terrible for NYU:

"The financial impact ... upon the university community is anticipated to be substantial," the letter stated, signed by Marc Wais, vice president for Student Affairs. "In fact, is expected to exceed $80,000."

All 18 students will be on disciplinary probation for the rest of their enrollment at the university. They also face several long-term consequences preventing them from taking leadership roles in student clubs and are prevented from serving as RAs, peer counselors, orientation leaders, peer ambassadors or student senators.

Oh no, they can't be peer ambassadors? Amusingly, a residence hall guard is quoted as saying NYU cares more about its property than its students: "NYU tells us that the building comes first, and the students second."

So now they've all been offered a deal: a one-week suspension that allows them to go back to class on Monday. Most of them will accept the deal rather than face a judicial hearing, because they're all counter-revolutionaries. Hilariously, the kids have pro-bono attorneys!

Now it's time to party!

Many of them were "ecstatic," according to Caitlin Boehne, a senior and a CAS student senator, who was not one of the 18 suspended students but was involved in the protest for the majority of the time.

"There's a party in Brooklyn tonight," she said.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!