You see the couple was rumored to be divorcing last month by Page Six, but now that Tinz (who's big in Japan) has been spotted cutting a rug or two at the Frick Gala with her hedge funder (sorta) husband, it must mean everything's rosy again, right? We contacted Ms. Mortimer, as we often do, and got a statement from her:
When I heard the news that I had been dancing with Topper I felt funny and I felt happy and I also felt a little sad, because sometimes good things don't last, they just frip! frip! frip! fripper away into the wind, like dandelions or one of Guadalupe's wigs that one time in the Hampytons. But I did have fun last night in my yellow dress and Topper's hands were big and meaty and sweaty and he pulled me close to him and he said "Oh Tinsjelica, I have missed you so much" in his growly dog voice and it was the best day I'd had all week. Well, since Tuesday when I found some pennies at the bottom of the washing machine when Guadalupe was showing me how to use it. See, Guadalupe told me she'd show me how to do all her poorlady jobs like sweeping and eating beans and having lots of babies that wear dirty old corduroys just in case the recessional comes for me and eats all my jewels and clothes. Right now I am wearing a bandanna and am inside the refrigerator because it needed cleaning. Tell Topper I miss him and that I will meet him at the top of the Empire State Bridge if he still loves me. He knows it's my favorite place because if you go there on a cloudy day and look out—I mean really look out—on a cloudy day, you can see forever.