Conrad Black Finds Prison Rather StimulatingS

Imprisoned former press mogul Conrad Black, Baron Black of Crossharbour, spends his time in the penitentiary munching granola, answering email, and practicing piano. Rather like a resort for like-minded intellectuals, is it not?

I get up just after 7 except on the weekends and holidays when it is possible to sleep in. I eat some granola and go to my workplace where I tutor high school-leaving candidates, one-on-one, though sometimes I have to deal with up to four at a time, around my desk, and talk with fellow tutors and other convivial people. I lunch around 11 with friends from education, work on e-mails, play the piano for 30 to 60 minutes, return to my tutoring tasks by 1, return to my unit at 3, deal with more e-mails, rest from 4 to 6, eat dinner in the unit then, and go for a walk in the compound or recreation yard for a couple of hours, drinking coffee well-made by Colombian fellow-residents, and come back into the residence about 8: 30, deal with e-mails and whatever, have my shower etc., around midnight, read until 1-1:30 a. m. and go to sleep. On the weekends it is pretty open.

Given Conrad's penchant for concealing pertinent facts about his incarceration, we imagine the truth is more like:

Wake up, crack open stash of Honey Nut Cheerios, get yelled at by unappreciative fellow inmate who yet again failed to turn in the paper I assigned on the history of British Lordships, bologna sandwich, sunburn in the yard, sock coffee, answer emails from Tina Brown—I have more to do than write for the Daily Beast, Tina!—listen to same damn Stevie Wonder tape again, sleep.

[National Post]