Today's gossip is depressing, sorry: Robin Williams will go under the knife, Rihanna's friends are processing her Chris Brown decision and Michael Wolff is supposedly trying to kick out his mother in law.

  • Following shortness of breath on his comedy tour and a hospitalization for heart problems, Robin Williams announced he needs surgery for an aortic valve replacement, i.e. open heart surgery. At least he'll have some excellent fodder for hospital/medical narcotic jokes. [ET]
  • One of Rihanna's relatives wants Chris Brown in jail, but Usher is done criticizing his fellow R&B star, supposedly because his friend Rihanna is back with Brown. "The second it was clear she was back with him, all of her friends rallied around her, stopped saying bad things about Chris." Really? All of them?
  • Michael Wolff and wife allegedly promised the wife's mom her own one-bedroom apartment if she would give them her four-bedroom. Now, years later, the mom says the Vanity Fair writer and his wife are breaking various promises and trying to squeeze her out of the place so they can sell it. And Wolff seemed like such a caring nurturer. [P6]
  • Lucy Liu used a pseudonym when submitting her portrait of two people kissing to a gallery. Now that no one's willing to cough up the $28,000 price, suddenly the world has been made aware the work is by a famous TV person. [P6]
  • Jared Kushner bought 30 of his Observer staffers lattes to celebrate the paper's distribution deal with Starbucks. Hopefully none of the paper's stiffed freelancers were working the counter that day. [P6]