Nation Weeps As Bush Admin Lawyers Can't Find WorkS

The Bush administration lawyers who formulated and justified the worst abuses and excesses of the administration's war on terror conduct are having trouble finding work!

They should be having trouble finding judges willing to hear their appeals, but no, instead they're all just bitching about how no one wants to hire them. You know, they have an interview scheduled, but then their prospective boss googles them, and is all, "oh, you wrote the torture memo? I'm afraid we're not actually hiring right now, sorry!"

Of course this is bad for America, because lawyers should be free to tell presidents that they can do whatever they want without fear of violating any silly "laws" or "Constitutions." As Chapman University Law School Dean John Eastman explains, this "not hiring notoriously evil lawyers" thing will have a chilling effect:

"It's unfortunate, and quite frankly it's dangerous," because it could make officials risk averse, Mr. Eastman said, blaming partisan politics.

God forbid we make Justice Department lawyers reluctant to take risks! We wouldn't want them stopping to think twice about telling the president whatever he wants to hear!

John Yoo is a tenured professor at Berkeley, so he's doing fine. But David Addington? Alberto Gonzales? Those poor schmucks are basically starving on the streets.

Poor Alberto Gonzales, after everyone in America watched him embarrass himself by pretending not to be able to remember his own goddamn name in order to avoid getting in trouble for his misconduct as Attorney General, he is particularly sad:

He recently told The Wall Street Journal that the controversy surrounding him had made law firms "skittish" about hiring him, calling himself "one of the many casualties of the war on terror."

Yes, right, who on Earth would ever be skittish about hiring this bright and likable and capable and not-at-all-fucking-asinine young man?