Well, our array of omnipresent blinking gadgets has officially rendered us totally incapable of normal human action. The proof: David Prager, whose reaction to having his home broken into was to Twitter about it:

No words for this. I mean, no words. We present the entire feed as it occurred:

# ok, maybe I should lock my door - I swear a random dude just walked into my bathroom and I can't believe I haven't freaked out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# and I can't believe I'm tweeting about it while he is still in there — in wonder of he is sleep walking - or if maybe I should freak out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# ok - he's still in the bathroom and Im now thinking a combo of hobo and drunk and sleepwalking dude - he seems late 20s - hmmm what next ?
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# I'm thinking the hobo part cause I can smell BO - and I really am wondering why I haven't freaked the F out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# maybe I should mention I live in a relatively rustic studio apartment in SF
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

Yes, please, tell us more.

# there is no TP in my bathroom - wonder if that is complicating things for him - was gonna wait for him to come out and kick him out
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# hmmm — should I call the cops like you guys have recommended? find a blunt object before opening the door? my gut tells me he's harmless
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# but ... I could be wrong about the harmless assumption
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# I'm now thinking maybe he's passed out in my bathroom — I guess that's better than violent — but I have no idea. time to freak out??
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# ok - about to make move - putting shoes on first
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# glad that GF wasn't here
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

As is she.

# ok - have weapon if I need it - but don't plan on any confrontation with it - about to go in
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# haven't gone in yet ..... debating calling cops but just feel it's not needed for some reason (and probably contrary to all logic)
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# ok - still haven't done anything - he is still in there - gonna setup a ustream now I think - standby
about 4 hours ago from Tweetie

# http://www.ustream.tv/channel/revision3
about 4 hours ago from web

At this instant American manhood reached its nadir.

# going in
about 3 hours ago from Tweetie

# if u haven't been watching my ustream -the dude passed out in my bathroom and I just dragged him out
about 3 hours ago from Tweetie

# ok - I think the drama is over - intruder is out - door is locked - think I finally need some sleep
about 3 hours ago from Tweetie

David Prager, American man. Prager is an exec at Internet TV site Revision3, a dodgeball coach, and a character already known to Valleywag.

Update: And of course, his ustream is now a youtube. Watch the hero at work:

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.