This week an occasionally serious comedian feuded with the goofiest and honestly least worst mascot of a shitty financial network and it was HUGE NEWS.

• So Jon Stewart delivered a mostly serious critique of CNBC, the world's most evil channel. Funnyman and stock manipulator (but mostly harmless money clown who occasionally writes decent and kinda serious columns) Jim Cramer took it personally, for some reason. And then Stewart went after him, for the lulz, and Cramer struck back because the man has no filter between his brain and mouth. And It continued, on into the week. It all culminated in a bizarrely over-hyped two-segment Daily Show Cramer interview, in which Jon didn't really give the logorrheic Cramer many chances to respond to various wide-ranging criticisms of the entire network and ethos of CNBC and specific attacks on stuff Cramer said and did. It was kind of sad but mostly lol. And lo, the world rejoiced. Except all the NBC networks which didn't say ANYTHING about it.
• Oh, Julia Allison's on that new channel that is like NY1 except it's on channel 200-something and not channel 1, and also it sucks. So that's what she's been up to.
• This week, James Franco fell asleep and Anderson Cooper went to Georgia.
• Some Facebook executive is making everyone fill out out surveys of awesomeness. Some blond guy is going to quit doing his Digg TV show. AOL hired someone who may be good or bad for the company. Oh and Oprah hung out with Mark Zuckerberg today?? That is your week in utterly baffling tech news.
• Padma Lakshmi was wasted in the LES last night instead of seeing Watchmen like a good citizen.
• Someone Twittered their home invasion because the Internet is Terrible. Joaquin Phoenix is still doing his stupid thing, because Everything is Terrible. But! Meghan McCain embarrassed herself on TV and Chris Brown was eventually kicked off the Kids Choice Awards so maybe there is some hope.
• Haha the CEO of Estee Lauder calls himself "Dancing Bear" and is being sued by his mom.
• Haha the diaper senator had an airport tantrum.
• Don't you hate it when your friends miss your birthday party because a reality show producer got them a job as a go-go dancer? Too busy gyrating in a cage to go to Suri and Shiloh's imaginary tea party!
• American Idol got way whiter Wednesday night. It happens every year, though, don't worry.

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at .