Gordon Ramsay est Mort! Vive Gordon Ramsay!

Fucking fuck shit cock shit piss Gordon Ramsay dick shite taint scrotum ballsack tits scapula is selling pubic hair damn darn his Parisian restaurant wieners shits. Is this the end of him? Poopie poop poop.

Because he is an idiot, Gordon Ramsay has rubbed many people the wrong way. He plays a bad boy television chef on television who likes to say cuss words and is fairly abusive to those around him often berating them for their failure while noxiously boasting of his success. That would be tolerable, if not a wee bit unpleasant, if he actually was a bad boy chef who was successful. Sad for him, he's not.

The Telegraph brings news today that the incredible shrinking celebrity chef is selling his one and only Paris restaurant, Gordon Ramsay au Trianon. "Ramsay, who has been beset by persistent rumours about his company's finances, has quietly sold the restaurant, which was awarded two Michelin stars earlier this month, to the owners of the Trianon Palace Hotel, in Versailles, west of Paris," writes the paper.

This brings Ramsay's tally of restaurants he once owned or operated but now doesn't to three. "Ramsay," writes The Telegraph, "recently sold his restaurant in Prague – Maze at the Hilton – back to the hotel. The Michelin-starred La Noisette at the Jumeirah Carlton Tower Hotel, in London, closed and his contract to run the restaurant at the Connaught Hotel, in Mayfair, ended last year."

Really what makes us root for Ramsay's failure isn't that he's so good at failing (and who doesn't want to reward someone for something they are good at) but that he's at root a phony. For all his big talk and bluster about being an iconoclast, his food has been rated consistently boring and decidedly conformist. After talking smack on French haute cuisine when he opened Gordon Ramsay au Trianon, he called winning two Michelin stars a "a real career high for me." Beneath all his curses and spiky hair, Gordon Ramsay is a sycophant like the rest of them and as his restaurants continue to fail, you can expect more of his pandering to the Food Establishment. Fuckie poop balls.