"Slanties": stupid hipster joke, or racist hipster serious business idea? Either way, we never thought we'd see something that would make us long for the days of cash fans and shutter shades:
slanties are based on ancient Inuit eyewear. Each pair of slanties is handcrafted...Wear slanties on the beach as functional sunglasses. Wear Slanties to the club. Wear slanties to visit your grandparents, they'll love them too. We hope that each pair will bring you great happiness.
See, I would call that a joke, except for the fact that you can order these bad boys yourself for the modest price of $75, plus the cost of getting your jaw rewired if you decide to walk through Chinatown. Some people say "racist!" and some people say "WTF?" but we say, please send us photos immediately if you spot a human wearing these, in public. [Slanties. Huh.]